I've seen plenty of movies lately, so I should probably start putting some poems together. Most recently I saw "The Avengers" and had a most excellent time. Here's a short poem about it:
Iron Man's red,
Captain America's blue,
The Avengers was awesome,
but 3-D was not essential to the experience.
Dang, I've lost my ability to rhyme. But you get the point. Even thought I didn't want to pay the extra couple bucks to wear two sets of glasses and watch a dimmer 3-D version of the film, I still had a great time. I was thoroughly entertained despite several things in the theater actively working to destroy my enjoyment of the experience. For instance, I ended up sitting in the most broken ass theater chair I've ever sat in. It seems to sit lower than normal and leaned significantly to the left.
On top of that, the world's third tallest man sat in front of me. His giant ugly head blocked about a sixth of the screen dead center and if there were any subtitles, I don't know what they said. I'd see Bruce Banner walk in one ear and the Hulk would walk out the other. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that they were the same character! It's okay, I thought, I can't risk finding a new seat and ending up sitting in the front row in the corner of this packed theater. After the first half hour, this guy will relax and ease into his seat and then I'll be able to see over his stupid skull.
Nope. Two and a half goddamned hours and this guy doesn't budge a millimeter. He sat in upright attention for the entire film like he had a board strapped to his spine. I'm getting a cramp in my ass from a broken seat and I'm sitting behind the one guy who never learned to slouch.
Additionally, sitting in the row behind me were a group of dipshits that everyone's ecountered at least once. They were confused, shocked, or delighted by something every 40 seconds or so. I know this because they audible expressed it at every opportunity. When they weren't laughing like lunatics, or gasping like exaggerated idiots, they were asking and answering each other's inane questions. If you have no concept of what a superhero movie is about, just keep it to yourself or stay the hell home!
Who's that guy? Where did he come from? Oh, that was risky jump. Is she working with them too? How did they get there? Why was that guy so upset? On and on and on. It was like watching a DVD where the special features were "Giant Head Mode" and "Rude Imbecile Commentary"
But, as I said, none of this bullshit actually prevented me from enjoying the film, which says a lot about it's entertainment quality. I highly suggest you check it out too, though I'd recommend you go early to find a seat that's not broken and then remove all the other chairs in a two seat radius around it.
